By Juanita Claudette
#3
“Well, you know you have to let potato chips breathe—just like fine wine. When you first open the bag they smell like…well shit, they smell like feet.” The table rolled in laughter.
“Mom, can you please not do bits during dinner.”
“Hey, in my line of work–you HOPE to be a bit during dinner”, Tuli said waving her carrot around like a Marx Brother. Rupi giggled. The classic was lost on Deli.
“Oh my god”, the sixteen year old sighed, and threw her head back, exasperated.
“I’m just having conversation, you fucking cunt.”
“Jesus.”
“Jesus Christ,Tuli.”
“Yeah..right: Jesus Tuli… no–you know what? I’m sorry. That’s my fault. Babygirl—mommy’s bad, OK?. I’m gonna go for a smoke. Calm my crazy ass down…acclimate from the stage to some more dinner appropriate content How’s that?. Be right back! Fresh as a daisy and sweeter n’ sugar. I’m sorry.”
It felt inappropriate to smile, but Tuli smiled anyway. Then she tipped her ex-husband’s “best dad” cap at her family on her way to her mother’s porch.
Tuli’s younger brother, Rupi, followed his sister in his slippers, carrying a half-glass of whiskey.
“Shakespeare would say all the WORLD’S a stage, and all the little spoiled bitches are just players in it. All the world includes dinner tables Rup’.
“You not wrong.”
“Traitor! Fucking Delilah! Why the hell did I name her that?!” Tulli sat down and put her face in her hands dramatically. Rupi laughed and sat next to her on a swinging bench. She breathed.
“You were always the best audience.”
“I don’t know why you act like that child ain’t your carbon copy.” Rupi swung his big legs out and Tuli joined him. “Yooo!! You remember the speech you gave when ma got you a Barbie dreamhouse instead of that Home Alone talkback recorder thingy you wanted?!” The siblings laughed.
“She still regrets ruining my lil’ eight-year-old journalism career, you know? I can see it in her eyes, lingering after every set.”
“Ahh–who cares…you almost weren’t born, remember?” They laugh.
“Hey—I’ll do the bits.”
“You’ve been banned.”
“Deli is a cute name, though, right? I named her Deliliah because when I was pregnant, I wanted to call her Deli.” Tuli and Rupi locked eyes.
“I was there, foo”.
“Yeah you were”, Tuli took a long pull on the ja,y and passed it to her baby brother.
“That would fucking suck”, Rupi looked down at the ground. His legs stopped swinging.
“What would fucking suck?”
If you were never born.
Meh…I don’t know, dude–you’re like the only cool one here, anyway. .Everyone else I can take or leave.
Then they swung their feet again.